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The man-from-faraway

February 8, 2013

Spoke to the faraway man today. Oh. My. God. Naughty. Very naughty. It all started innocently enough. But then descended into carnal depravity. Great stuff. God knows what would happen if we lived in the same town. We probably wouldn’t be able to stand the sight of each other. Or we’d fuck each others brains out for a while, then get bored.

Got rid of Mr Abusive. Well done me. Had to go to a five hour induction yesterday before I start my super duper job at a not so super-duper supermarket. Ah well, it’s a job. Until someone spots my undeniable talents on here and i get publishing houses begging me to write more of this literary gold.

But oh my. The things I ended up saying. He was quite sweet. He remembers things we did five or six years ago. I know he lives with his girlfriend, which is very naughty on his part, and on mine. But he’s helping me get over Mr Abusive. It;s just a little bit of attention, he seems to really know me, even though the real time we’ve spent together is only a matter of hours.

We had facebook sex. Twice. Is that possible? Totally ridiculous? Oh my god, i’m thirty seven, should I know better? Crazy. He said he’d play with me all night, until I couldn’t take anymore. Seductive stuff, for me. Is that wrong? I would love to do that right now. But like he says, is it just about the sex for me? Well no, actually. I adore kissing. Kissing is so erotic. Laughing, talking. Ooh, sooo glad I got rid of Mr Wrong. We did have laughter, and we talked-about everything. Especially sex. Which is probably why it lasted as long as it did. He wasn’t totally bad. But when he was bad, he really was horrid. I think if i’d had better self-esteem it may have ended sooner. Having more friends may have helped. Who knows. It was obviously something I had to go through, and I know I won’t let it happen again. Even though i’m not with baby-daddy, that relationship gave me a model of what a non-abusive relationship is, how it should feel.

But ooooh, today was a tonic. Was great to talk to the man-from-faraway. He still wants a ‘naughty’ photo of me. I don’t know. Is there any love there, on his part? When I said I was going, he said, ‘ok, laters’. ‘You never send me any love, why so cold?’ I replied. So he sent me loads of x’s and a photo of some bugs mating that he’s called ‘Love thang’. Erm, when written down, that sounds really rubbish. But then i’m not in love with him. Then he referred to me as Love thang later on, and said I was a ‘great excuse for coming here’. Hmmmmmm. As Ivanka Trump says, ‘It eeees what it eeees’.

So what is it? An e-relationship. Hope he does come over, sometime this year. In the meantime, obviously, I will live my life. I will not get obssessed, as I used to be over him. Oh yeah, mega. An obssession that lasted for years. We share the same birthday. I will ‘keep something back’ as my step-mother ( so wisely ) advised me to do on the embarrasing only occasion she met Mr D-head.

But it would be amazing to see him. It’s a rare thing. It’s one of the lovely aspects of getting older-you don’t get so terribly lovesick anymore. Awful unrequited obssessions. I don’t think I could feel that way about anybody now. I would love to fall in love again.  Hopefully next time I will take my time. Knowing me I probably won’t. But I don’t feel so desperate anymore. My friend said to me ‘just don’t be desperate, for fuck’s sake’. And it really hurt. Coz he was right, I was feeling like that, just after i’d finished with dickhead. But now i’ve mellowed out a bit. This is the first friday in ages where I haven’t been out or been with him, and it feels ok. I also haven’t drank yet. Whoo! Here’s to serenity and sobriety. Long may they stay…………………

 

 

 

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